Finally lost the plot.

I've always been accused of being crazy or even slightly insane. It's my brain. It makes me say all sorts of weird things. Anyway, I think it's finally given up, and I've gone mad. The other day I spent all day thinking I had left my wallet at home. I had to tailgate behind someone to get in my work building, then scrounge someone's card to get food (we 'charge' our work ID cards up, so none of the vending machines or the staff canteen takes cash). Then I was going round a friend's house, but I owed them some money, so I went home to get my wallet. I spent ages looking for my wallet, and in the end gave up. It was only when I put my motorbike jacket back on that I realised it was in one of the pockets. D'oh!

I have a sort of a system going on when it comes to the placement of essential items like my keys, my wallet, my phone, and my PDA. I say a 'sort of a system' because it doesn't always work out the way it should. My wallet absolutely should not have been there, and because I didn't expect it to be there, I just hadn't looked. I mean, I NEVER put it there.

Well anyway, today's been one of those days. This is what it currently looks like:


Nice. If you're a duck. Stoopid ducks.

I woke up, and it was sunny. Then it went cloudy and started to rain. I needed to go in town to BUY STUFF! I like stuff. Anyway, I couldn't find my wallet. Again. I looked everywhere, and it wasn't anywhere it should have been. Not being caught out twice, I checked all the places that it shouldn't be. It wasn't there either. So I went to work to look there. But first I had to persuade the new security guard that I really did work there and wasn't some crazed terrorist from Dirkistan. I didn't have my card, cos it was in my wallet. So I investigated my desk under the watchful eye of the security guard with all the power. Nada. No wallet.

So I went home again, and checked there. Nada. I thought I might have left it round a friend's house, so I phoned them, and they checked, but nothing. Then I thought, maybe I hadn't checked at work thoroughly enough. I could have left the wallet in my work trousers (which stay in work unless they need a wash - I wear my leathers to work on my bike).

So not wanting to be foiled by the ever vigilant security guard at work, I went to leave for Laura and Nate's to pick up Laura's card (so that I could sneak in ninja style, unnoticed. Muhauhauahuahaaaa!). Unfortunately, my bike alarm blooper now wasn't working. I stood in the rain for a few minutes, then went back inside. It took me a little while to find my spare blooper. Grrrrr.

I eventually got back to work, and checked all the places it could be. Still no wallet. Exasperated, I decided to remove everything from my back pack. I opened it up, removed the breakables, then turned it upside down and shook. No wallet. So I reached in, and felt around, and low and behold, there it was! My black leather wallet had wedged itself into the corner of the bottom of my bag. It was exactly the same colour as the inside of the bag , so it was perfectly camouflaged, and looking in, even when empty, it was very hard to see. What a muppet. I probably rode 15 miles on my bike trying to find this thing, and I had it all along. It's like losing your sunglasses on the top of your head, but on a my larger scale.

I have to move flat soon, and I saw a really really nice place in the paper for let so I went to see the agency that lets it. It's a little out of my price range, but I was planning on getting someone to share with, and that would be a perfect price. So I parked my motorbike on the pavement round the corner from the letting agents office, and walked round and went inside. I started asking a friendly middle aged woman about the house for let, and as she was telling me about it, she got called away as her car was blocking someone in. Her replacement, some guy told me that the house had been withdrawn from the market only yesterday, because the house had had nobody looking, he owner decided to live there after all. Dammit!

So I left my details, and was stepping out of the door when I almost bumped into the woman who had first served me, so to speak. She held up a set of keys, and said, "are these yours?". They were. Amazing. What a pickpocket, I never even saw her come near me. Turns out, as she was on her way back from moving her car, she had come across someone who'd found my keys near my motorbike. She said that she'd just seen someone with one (me), so she'd taken them from the person and bought them to me. She commented to me as I took the keys from her in amazement that "someone must be looking out for me up there". I thought about my wallet incident and doubted this very much, but I agreed, as she knew nothing of the wallet incident, and would probably be confused if I mentioned it in passing.

What was even more bizarre though, was the fact that the keys that the woman had, weren't my motorbike keys, but my house keys, which should have been firmly in my jacket pocket! I have 2 sets of keys. One is the house keys, and I have a set for my bike too. I keep them separate so that if I go out without my bike, then I don't have to lug a big lump of keys about. But strangely, my housekeys had come out and been traced back to me!

There is some more stuff to tell about, but I'll visit it another time, as I'm supposed to be in the pub now. Running late....

I'll just say I got kidnapped by a giant walrus, bent on the destruction of the earth. And me, evidently. Everyone thinks I'm crazy anyway; it seems like the perfect excuse!