National Yemen Day!
In celebration, here's a Jewish themed joke:
Did you hear about the blind circumsizer?
He got the sack.
Although it's not as good as another joke someone told me earlier:
Why did the baker have brown hands?
He kneaded a poo.
Athens(reuters) - A Greek bank robber armed with ninja throwing stars finally ran out of moves on Tuesday when police arrested him after an Athens bank robbery.
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Petros Onen, 49, had held up 11 small suburban bank branches making away with 50,000 euros (33,866 pounds) in recent months, threatening to throw his razor-sharp, palm-size stars -- made famous by the Japanese ninja warriors -- at cashiers, police said.
His luck ran out when undercover policemen at the last bank he robbed followed him home and arrested him with his loot, his throwing stars, a fake gun and a list of other bank branches.
*throws another stabby shuriken*
DAMNIT!
WHY CAN'T I HIT YOU?
and, concerning that Hitman affair, I don't know if you are fit for the job you know, you might end up feeling bad and regret stuff and things.
J00 might not be able to handle the truth!
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Muhauhauhauhaaaa! You'll never hit me! I'm far too cunning and elusive.
Curses. I really thought I could handle the truth. Dognammit, I really did!!!!
Old high school friend of mine enlisted in the US Marine Corp. Turned out he was a very good shot. Was a riflery instructor and was approached by the government, as they were interested in offering him a sniper position. Have not heard from him since he told me this, so who knows.
I know someone who has MOD rifle bullets in a locked cabinet in his house. I also know he used to enter rifle competitions. He never did tell me where he got those bullets from either. And the pack had been half used.....
Still, without becoming cannon fodder, I think becoming a governemt hitman would be quite difficult...
Kock Suckerk starts and ends in K
I just looked at ryanrocks.co.uk. Although the links aren't there yet, the homepage looks amazing! Please hurry up and finish the site, I would very much like to see it. Yes.
And gief quality pie plx.
To: All Al Queda Fighters
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2003 22:26:04 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting al jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
-First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota, have you?
I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area next to the halal toaster.
-Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the sh*t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing.
Thanks.
-Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
-Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
-Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**kS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall. It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
-Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.) Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.
First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
Love you lots,
Group Hug.
Ossy.
PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
Cut it out, it's not funny any more.
1 Comments:
I know a moyle who does cirmcumsions for free.
He only takes tips.
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