Need An Excuse To Get Off Work?
There used to be a guy in my office called Nick. He coached a Rugby team, and lived over hour's drive from the office. I think he hated this place more than I do, and for that, and his fantastic excuses, I salute you, Nick!
Here are Nick's Excuses (compiled by a colleague of his)for not coming in on a Monday Morning:
1. Poison knee.
2. Grommets fell out of sons ears.
3. Wife fell down stairs.
4. Nick fell down stairs.
5. Grommets fitted back in ears.
6. Daughter fell down stairs.
7. Furniture delivery on Monday which was not planned or known about the previous Friday.
8. The roof leaked.
9. The windows leaked.
10. The wall fell down.
11. A murder was committed up the lane over the weekend, and he had to stay at home Monday, in case the Police wanted to interview him.
12. Son fell down the stairs.
13. Lights flickering on dash board.
14. Noticed cat was in the car as he got to the outskirts of Plymouth, so had to turn round and take it home.
15. Exhaust fell off.
16. Swollen knees.
17. Sister in law in a state, due to divorce.
18. Cattle broken out of neighboring field.
19. Next door neighbour got burgled over the weekend.
20. Wife away, have to look after kids.
21. Took son to hospital.
22. Took wife to hospital.
23. Picked son up from hospital.
24. Snowed in. (It’s June, Nick)
25. Car wouldn’t start.
26. Got wife’s car, and that wouldn’t start.
27. Doctors appointment.
28. Car in for service.
29. Rugby player died, had to attend funeral - but didn’t know about the death, until the day of the funeral - on a Monday of course.
30. House flooded.
31. Daughter hurt her back, had to take her to the doctors.
32. Flu.
33. Burst pipe.
34. Icy drive.
35. Delivery of building material.
36. School holiday - couldn’t get a babysitter
37. “I thought I’d booked this day off” (?)
38. Working in Pool (when we had an office there)
39. Mother-in-law in hospital.
40. Funeral - no one in particular.
41. Put out back while ironing. (!!!)
42. “Been away for weekend in Gloucester, and left phone there. Will be late in, as I have to go and pick it up.” 26/11/01. (? No postal service?)
43. Passed out at a sports event on the Sunday (14/7/02), and didn’t feel well enough to drive up on the Monday; so worked from home. (? Without a PC??!) However, left early on the Tuesday to go doctors.
44. 7/1/03 – scaffolding fell through the windscreen of his car, needs day off to sort it out.
Here are Nick's Excuses (compiled by a colleague of his)for not coming in on a Monday Morning:
1. Poison knee.
2. Grommets fell out of sons ears.
3. Wife fell down stairs.
4. Nick fell down stairs.
5. Grommets fitted back in ears.
6. Daughter fell down stairs.
7. Furniture delivery on Monday which was not planned or known about the previous Friday.
8. The roof leaked.
9. The windows leaked.
10. The wall fell down.
11. A murder was committed up the lane over the weekend, and he had to stay at home Monday, in case the Police wanted to interview him.
12. Son fell down the stairs.
13. Lights flickering on dash board.
14. Noticed cat was in the car as he got to the outskirts of Plymouth, so had to turn round and take it home.
15. Exhaust fell off.
16. Swollen knees.
17. Sister in law in a state, due to divorce.
18. Cattle broken out of neighboring field.
19. Next door neighbour got burgled over the weekend.
20. Wife away, have to look after kids.
21. Took son to hospital.
22. Took wife to hospital.
23. Picked son up from hospital.
24. Snowed in. (It’s June, Nick)
25. Car wouldn’t start.
26. Got wife’s car, and that wouldn’t start.
27. Doctors appointment.
28. Car in for service.
29. Rugby player died, had to attend funeral - but didn’t know about the death, until the day of the funeral - on a Monday of course.
30. House flooded.
31. Daughter hurt her back, had to take her to the doctors.
32. Flu.
33. Burst pipe.
34. Icy drive.
35. Delivery of building material.
36. School holiday - couldn’t get a babysitter
37. “I thought I’d booked this day off” (?)
38. Working in Pool (when we had an office there)
39. Mother-in-law in hospital.
40. Funeral - no one in particular.
41. Put out back while ironing. (!!!)
42. “Been away for weekend in Gloucester, and left phone there. Will be late in, as I have to go and pick it up.” 26/11/01. (? No postal service?)
43. Passed out at a sports event on the Sunday (14/7/02), and didn’t feel well enough to drive up on the Monday; so worked from home. (? Without a PC??!) However, left early on the Tuesday to go doctors.
44. 7/1/03 – scaffolding fell through the windscreen of his car, needs day off to sort it out.
Ryaninja flipped out at 8:09 am
Throw me a Stabby Shuriken - 2 thrown so far!
2 Comments:
I read the title wrong. I thought it said "Need an excuse to get off at work". Had my pants down around my ankles and a hand full of baby oil in expectation of great things to come. Had to settle for the ones about the sister in law and cattle, two recurring themes in my fantasy world already.
i think i'll go for the doctors appointment
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