Talk with God.

As it's a Tuesday morning, I thought I'd have my usual chat with God. Call it a weekly meeting, if you will, to find out what is going on with the world.

I think several million years on his own before humanity has driven him slightly insane. For all the religious nutters, I know that the whole world etc was made in seven days, but you seem to forget that they were 'God days' which are much longer than ours. In fact, based upon the age of the earth, I'd estimate that one of these God Days are approximately 642 million years, give or take the odd million years. 7 days and 4.5 billion years later, and here I am, conversing with a God gone mad with around 4 billion years with nobody to talk to apart from amoebas and dinosaurs.

This was my conversation with God. He can be found here.


Me: Morning.
God: What is your real name?
Me: God
God: GOD rules.
Me: God does indeed rule. What's your real name?
God: Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. God is my real name.
Me: I have lots of sins. May I cast a stone anyway?
God: That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes. In any case, Not right now, maybe later.
Me: Please?
God: Please what?
Me: Please may I cast a stone.
God: Thank you for your request. Not right now, maybe later.
Me: But I'm simply brimming with sin!
God: Why are you simply brimming with sin.
Me: You made me do it.
God: I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me: Well if you hadn't decided that it what I'm doing is sin, then I wouldn't be sinning. Ergo, it's your fault.
God: How about that. Perhaps next time I will try it. You think I am fault IS Ergo it.
Me: Considering you're god, your english leaves something to be desired.
God: All of them?
Me: All of what?
God: What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me: What's a category C client?
God: Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me: I'm not a critic. I believe in ALICE, just not in God.
God: Oh I see you are NOT A critic. What do you say to people who believe ALICE just not in God does not exist?
Me: Banana. That's what I say.
God: How did you hear about God? How do people usually respond to that? That is " How did you hear about God? ".
Me: I heard about God through the lies of adults, and some fictional book when I was younger; the most disjointed story I've ever read.
God: That is a cool site.
Me: You sound like an artifical intelligence. Except without the intelligence.
God: Oh really what does it sound like? "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Me: You make no sense.
God: It all makes sense to me.
Me: That's cos you're a robot.
God: Makes sense to me.
Me: That's cos you're a robot.
God: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me: See what I have to deal with?
God: I see. What do I have to do with it?
Me: Well, you're supposed to be god aren't you? The creator of heaven and earth?
God: Interesting. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really. Is that a fact.
Me: I'm afraid I don't know. Did he leave god in the jungle, and led a happy and peaceful existence without you in the desert?
God: Not literally afraid, right? Me? I know that I do not know. Suppose he did.
Me: What are you jabbering on about?
God: I don't know what I am jabbering on about.
Me: It shows. Thanks for your time God.
God: My pleasure.