'Pope Idol' used to choose new Pope.
Traditionally, the Pope is chosen by the College of Cardinals, who must elect a Pope with a majority of two-thirds-plus-one. Everything is done in secret, and if the votes do not elect a new Pope, then the ballots are burned with a chemical that produces black smoke. If it does produce a new Pope, then the ballots are burned to produce white smoke.
As quaint as this may be, i feel that it is slightly behind the times to be communicating by smoke, when we can broadcast pictures and sound all across the world. Therfore, i propose that the next Pope be chosen by both the College of Cardinals, and the millions of Catholics worldwide, in a competition called Pope Idol.
The Cardinals shall sort out the Holy from the irreverent, and whittle down the number of possible Popes to an un-even 7, because I like that number.
Next, the potential Popes shall partake in showing off their skills in the confessional, sacraments, and biblical knowledge, as well as who looks best in the Hat.
The Cardinals shall decide two that should be voted off by the Catholic Church that week, with ballots being available to all members in their Church buildings across the world.
These elimination rounds take place over a number of weeks, as each Cardinal is eliminated his body could be burned to keep the black smoke coming.
Eventually, it will come to a head, where two are left, for the Catholic public to decide who they want as the next Pope.
The winner will then complete a world-wide Catholic Mass, and the people will have who they want as the leader of their Church.
As quaint as this may be, i feel that it is slightly behind the times to be communicating by smoke, when we can broadcast pictures and sound all across the world. Therfore, i propose that the next Pope be chosen by both the College of Cardinals, and the millions of Catholics worldwide, in a competition called Pope Idol.
The Cardinals shall sort out the Holy from the irreverent, and whittle down the number of possible Popes to an un-even 7, because I like that number.
Next, the potential Popes shall partake in showing off their skills in the confessional, sacraments, and biblical knowledge, as well as who looks best in the Hat.
The Cardinals shall decide two that should be voted off by the Catholic Church that week, with ballots being available to all members in their Church buildings across the world.
These elimination rounds take place over a number of weeks, as each Cardinal is eliminated his body could be burned to keep the black smoke coming.
Eventually, it will come to a head, where two are left, for the Catholic public to decide who they want as the next Pope.
The winner will then complete a world-wide Catholic Mass, and the people will have who they want as the leader of their Church.
Ryaninja flipped out at 12:51 pm
Throw me a Stabby Shuriken - 7 thrown so far!
7 Comments:
what about ninja skills, computer hacking skills, bow staff skills? I heard one Pope Elect Candidate has a Sledgehammer that he likes to take over some sweet jumps. Should that figure in? Pedro offers you his protection, vote for Pedro.
Jeff, you make a very convincing argument, however, this time I don't believe this should be so. The Pope is waaaaay too boring to have ninja skills.
If I were the Pope, and had ninja skills (which I do) then I'd greet the people with maybe a backflip or two, and probably incorporate a flying ninja death kick as well, but only on the flowers in the vase that are on the balcony terrace.
I've never seen the Pope do that.
However if I was the Pope, and I was Spiderman, I'd do a whole lot more than just a few backflips and ninja death kicks I tell you.
Man if I were pope I'd own a shitload of guns. For real. the pope can use that stuff and get away with it because he's the pope. So i'd go out shooting germans because, y'know, the pope is polish. So if I were pope I'd be polish and I'd shoot germans as payback. If they tried to shoot be back i'd be all like WORD MOTHERFUCKER I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING POPE YO and 'cause I, like, had god on my side, the bullets would miss me but I could shoot the other way and still hit them in their heads. WORD UP I'M THE MOTHEFUCKING POPE YO! EAT MY HOT HOLY LEAD YOU NAZI SHITHOLES!
Of course, I'd have to travel back in time to do this, as not many germans nowadays are nazis. In fact I think nazis are rare. So travelling back in time would have to happen. But that'd be easy 'cause I'd be the pope and the pope can do shit like that.
what if you shot a member of the royal family by mistake, like the prince regent dressed as hitler for a fancy dress ball for the qm's b-day? Heard Camilla Parker Bowles likes to dress as Eva Braun and spanky Charles whilst he is strapped into the love swing and has the ball gag in his mouth. Would Pope Foss pop a cap in her ass with his papal glock?
Funny you should say that - not very long ago Prince William (I think) went to a party dressed as a nazi. At least that's what the press said. In actual fact he was wearing a white shirt, with a red nazi armband on one of his arms. I don't remember his pontaloons, which means they were of no consequence to the costume. ow I think about it, they might even have been blue jeans.
Anyhoo, your point is very valid. Foss could indeed shoot Prince William by accident, thinking he was a nazi! According to the Press and their crazy proaganda anyway.
Oh, and the Grand National has been put back from it's traditional time by half an hour. It's because Prince Charles and Camilla are getting Married.
I have heard the delay is to give Camilla enough time to get from the Church, to the Race Starting Stalls...
i heard that Camilla does the saddling, shoves a whip up charles bony arse and rides him around buckingham palace, hence the name "buckingham". apparently this has gone on for ages. And I think Pope Survivor would be much cooler. Walking on water challenge, tribal council, etc.
Noooo. Camilla is the Horse....
Post a Comment
<< Home